Road Rage [or BMW drivers suck]

Every once in a while our the media comes up with buzzwords to try and help define a cultural phenomena. Road Rage is one such term.

After working late last night for the climax of a software release, I got out an hour early and made the mad dash across the city. I was in a good mood, and excited about my weekend.

On reaching a completely gridlocked Lisburn Road, I even did my charitable act, of let a guy in a 206 pull in from the left lane- he was gonna be caught in behind a load of parked cars, and I wasn't really moving forward at the time.

My rule for stuff like this is you let one person in, and then you move on. I think thats fair - I mean if I were to sit and let a couple or three people in infront of me all of the people behind me are going to want to kill me..

All was fine until the guy behind Mr 206 tried to force his way into the lane infront of me (I could make some cheap comment about the fact that he was a BMW driver, but I'm really too classy for that..)

There wasnt any space for him to move into, but he spent the next 20 yards driving further into my lane, and forcing me to pull ever closer to the traffic coming the other way. (I think this was as close to collision as I've been infact). I was livid. I can't really describe my reactions as rational at all- I didn't turn and give him a dirty look or beep my horn to let him know of the impending collision.

Instead I became that guy you see on TV that you never really want to be - trying to win an unwinnable arguement with a guy by shouting out a window.

To cut a long story short the guy rolled down his window and did refer to me as "young
man", which at this point was a red rag to a bull. My window went down and I told him in no certain terms that this was my lane, and that he couldn't just drive me off the road [with more shouting and the use of the term 'Old Man' to counteract his patronising me...]

In the end I took a deep breath and a step back and let him in because he was being ridiculous, and was probably going to cause an accident, but even typing this now, I have a raw feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I want to fight him or something.

Road rage is bad. I don't think I want to have it ever again, or I mite have to do a stretch for battering some German automobile driver with a wheel brace....

Dramatic Chipmonk

After years of porn, free music and computer viruses, the Internet has finally stumped up with something truely worthwhile.. Hit it Chipmonk!

Alfonse - The Spider who lives in my Wingmirror

Nature is great, it really is. Inside the wingmirror of my lime-green Vauxhall Corsa, resides an ever growing eco-system.

A spider has taken root there and has proceeded to develop a complex web system, despite my initial attempts to dislodge him with my attempts to be the first 1.2L engine to break the landspeed record. I have named him Alfonse.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am not fond of spiders. Infact, I hate them. There is no 'live and let live' philosophy with me and the arachnid species - If one of their kind invades my personal space war is declared until one of us is dead. (I have an undefeated record so far..)

But the shear adversity facing Alfonse has made be look at him differently. True, he is gross, but up against strong winds and 70mph speeds, he has managed to develop an beautifully intricate web - particularly great on wet mornings.